STILL Day 50 - 4.30.08
Duuuu-huuuu-uuude. Just got back from my bi-weekly-ish ultrasound, and am now beginning to understand why I've been so miserable the past few days - I've got almost 11 pounds of baby in my belly! Baby A is 3 lbs 15 oz (Oink! Oink!), and Babies B and C are both 3 lbs 7 oz, which also makes me wonder if they haven't done a lil flippity-ip in there, and Baby A is now actually Scarlett, especially since she has been biggest all along, and Simon and Yet To Be Decided On Named Baby have been running neck in neck as far as size goes.
The doc said the babies look great - their fluid looks good, and membrane/placentas look good as well, so HOLLA to the three muskateers in there. May you continue to grow like fatty-fatty-two-by-fours, but for the love of Nell Carter - PUH-LEEEEZE stop kicking me in the ribs!!!
Love,
Mommy
Day Friggin 50 – 4.30.08
You Know You’ve Been in the Hospital Too Long When….
you have a favorite COMMERCIAL. Believe me, I know this more than anyone. Still, I can’t help but be amazed anytime the commercial comes on for ShamWOW. I mean, seriously, that little chamois will pick up ANYTHING – 21 times it’s weight????? You can’t tell me that is nothing short of phenomenal. And four ShamWOW’s for $19.99? Plus if you call NOW they double your order? They’re practically GIVING them away. Don’t take my word for it though – check it out for yourself:
Incidentally, my least favorite commercial? The one for Kashi, where the girl says it’s her “mission to get everyone up off their RUMP,” and the damn thing comes on so fast I NEVER have time to mute it before she gets out the word RUMP. Arrrggghhh!!!!
Day 49 - 4.29.08
Because I woke up this morning craving ANYTHING but hospital food, I thought I'd share the list of restaurants I most miss and can't wait to visit when I get outta the clink:
- La Bodega: Oh my sweet La Bodega - I know you miss me too. Especially your blue-cheese crusted fillet and patatas bravas. And chorizo and chicken skewer, and pork and apple skewer. And Spanish coffee for dessert. But most of all, I miss you, Mojito. Sniffle....
- Mr. Sushi - Tan, I have never known an owner of a restaurant to know the name of every single customer who comes in his door, but you do, amazingly. And even more than that, then you bring me the most delicious sushi - especially your spicy crab salad and Lee's Summit Roll. Yummmmmmm...
- Intercontinental Hotel - for high tea. I know we have only met once, but oh, what a meeting it was. Your white tea was so delicate, and the finger sandwiches and pastries I scarfed down, delectable. I will be back. Oh, yes, I WILL be back.
- Azul - You little Latin temptress. Like the Intercontinental, I know we have only met once, but once was enough to know I will be back for your margarita cheesecake with tequila whipped cream on the side.
- Lidia's - Lidia's, Lidia's, Lidia's. My favorite Italian food in the Metro. Your wine list, your daily pasta trio (I will never forget that ravioli filled with nettles that was surprisingly delicious), and the honey lavendar ice cream? Come on - who wouldn't love that.
- Cassis - A little hidden gem in the heart of Johnson County - who would've thought? Frenchie French food with a champagne bar? What's not to love?
- Skies - Though we usually use you for your lounge and incredible views of the city (especially at sunset) I had the best lobster I've ever eaten at your lovely establishment.
- Christopher Elbow Chocolates -Okay, so you're not really a restaurant, per se, but you DO have the best chocolates I have ever tasted in my life. I mean, bananas-foster and rosemary caramel chocolates? Genius. But my fave is the sea-salt caramel. As my homie Nattie Lite would say - BRING IT TO MY MOUF!
There is is - my humble list of most-missed restaurants. I will be accepting applications to babysit the triplets immediately so that I can start making reservations. Any volunteers?
Day 48 - 4.28.08
I have been having a cranky past few days, and I woke up feeling better this morning than I have in a while, so I felt the need to share one of my favorite skits from SNL, and because this is MY blog, I thought - what the hey - I'm going to DO it, dammit! I present to you:
The Barry Gibb Talk Show...
http://www.jibjab.com/view/110211
Day 47 - 4.27.08
I have officially hit cranky pregnant beyotch stage. Seriously. As of about 2 days ago, I am so over this. I know, I know - it's best for the babies to stay in as long as possible, but I am so sick of contractions, bed-sore hips, a pelvis that feels so swollen it's like I am carrying a bowling ball around in it, barely being able to hobble to the bathroom, sometimes needing HELP to hobble to the bathroom, I am just done. Thankfully I have not had to ask for help wiping. I told my mom this weekend that I cannot be nice to anyone anymore, especially if it's hospital staff who is not giving me what I want when I want it. Don't get me wrong - for the duration of my stay, I have really loved almost all of the staff I've been in contact with (Michelle, Susan, Sarah, and Coco - you have seriously kept me sane since I have been here, and I have the deepest admiration bordering on a stalkerish kind of affection for you), and have only requested NOT to have two nurses, but I now feel like since I've been here for almost 2 months, I'm not dealing with anyone or any situation that irritates me or my uterus.
The staff has told me from the beginning of my stay that I am a very low maintenance patient, but those days are quickly drawing to a close. I don't know if it's a combination of discomfort, misery, hormones, or a big ole combination of all of the above, but Lord help the person who irritates my uterus right now.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Day 44 - 4.24.08
I can't believe it myself. It seems like I have been here forever, but at the same time, I am amazed that it is almost MAY. Tomorrow is Week 31. I CAN'T believe that. Week. 31. It seems like these babies are growing by leaps and bounds, and Babies B and C have taken up residence in my ribs, while I can now feel Baby A in my back. I swear I am like a baby myself. I wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, nap, eat lunch, nap, eat a snack, nap, etc. etc. It is just so hard to get around now that life is easier in bed. That's what she said. Okay, okay, so maybe I've watched a little too much of The Office since I've been in, but really, you can never have enough Steve Carell, as far as I'm concerned.
I started a list a week or so ago of songs I want to download to CD for a lullabye CD. And just for kicks, I thought I'd include the lyrics to a couple of my faves. And now, without further ado....
- Little Star, Madonna
- She's Got a Way, Billy Joel
- Goodnight My Angel, Billy Joel
- Fix You, Coldplay
- In a Gadda di Vida, Iron Butterfly (just kidding)
- When You Dream, Barenaked Ladies
- Sweet Child O Mine, Guns & Roses (but the Sheryl Crow version)
Little Star, Madonna
Never forget who you are lIttle star
Never forget how to dream butterfly
God gave a present to me
made of flesh and bones
My life, my soul
you make my spirit whole
Never forget who you are little star
Shining brighter than all the stars in the sky
Never forget how to dream butterfly
Never forget where you come from
From love
You are a treasure to me
You are my star
You breathe new life
Into my broken heart
Never forget who you are little star
Never forget how to dream butterfly
May the angels protect you
And sadness forget you little star
May goodness surround you
My love I have found you little star
Shining bright
You breathe new life into my broken heart
Never forget who you are little star
Shining brighter than all the stars in the sky
Never forget how to dream butterfly
Flying higher than all the birds in the sky
When You Dream, Barenaked Ladies
With life just begun, my sleeping new son
has eyes that roll back in his head
They flutter and dart, he slows down his heart
and pictures a world past his bed
It's hard to believe
As I watch you breathe
Your mind drifts and weaves
When you dream,
what do you dream about?
When you dream,
what do you dream about?
Do you dream about
music or mathematics
or planets too far for the eye?
Do you dream about
Jesus or quantum mechanics
or angels who sing lullabies?
His fontanelle pulses with lives that he's lived
With memories he'll learn to ignore
And when it is closed, he already knows
he's forgotten all he knew before
But when sleep sets in
history begins
But the future will win
When you dream,
what do you dream about?
When you dream,
what do you dream about?
Are they colour or black and white,
Yiddish or English
or languages not yet conceived?
Are they silent or boisterous?
Do you hear noises just
loud enough to be perceived?
Do you hear Del Shannon's "Runaway" playing
on transistor radio waves?
With so little experience,
your mind not yet cognizant
Are you wise beyond your few days?
When you dream,
what do you dream about?
Day 49 - 4.19.08
Well, I'm only doing this because my fans are requesting it. And by fans I mean my sister Jen and my homie Ames. So without further ado, I give to you photos from Week 29 and Week 30. Enjoy.....
Week 29
Annnnnd Week 30:
Day 46 - 4.16. 08
Had an ultrasound today, and the babies are getting along swimmingly. The doc is happy with their growth, the amniotic fluid around each looks good, Babies A and B have less than a 10% difference in their size (as opposed to 14% at our last U/S - which is good), and their weights are all up:
Baby A = 2 lbs 14 oz
Baby B = 2 lbs 11 oz
Baby C = 2 lbs 15 oz
Wheeeee!!!! The doc also printed out pics from the U/S, and Baby A's profile looks soooooo much like Tom that I almost cried in the doc's office. I have to assume since Baby B is his identical, that he also looks more like Tom and less like a tiny space alien that the picture showed.
Day 44 - 4.14.08
I am getting good at faking it. Talking to friends and family on the phone, or via e-mail, and pretending that everything is hunky dory, that I am doing okay, that I am JUST FINE here in the hospital. The truth is, a lot of times I hang up, log off, and cry. The truth is that I feel my body getting bigger, and out of control, and know that it's going to take a long time to even get up the energy to try to get it back. The truth is that my pelvis hurts so bad that I care barely walk to the bathroom. The truth is that I look at the calendar sometimes and despair that I could potentially be spending another 5 weeks in here, and it scares the hell out of me. It scares the hell out of me if I don't. So many what ifs.
The truth is that being here, in this hospital, is so alienating that it is maddening. I know life is going on outside these walls, I see trees changing outside, see the sun, hear from friends and family that they are going on with their lives, and I try to be happy for them, but the truth is, I can't always do that, so I fake it. The truth is that I feel that there are days when I really have no one to talk to, not even my husband, because I don't want to cry to him one more time, I don't want to whine or complain or feel pathetic or sorry for myself, so I keep it in, and fake it, and say, "I feel good today, honey," when he asks, because I don't want him to know the difference. The truth is that I pretend to be asleep when the nurse comes in to check on me because I don't want her to know I've been crying.
The truth is that I have 20 minutes before the nurse comes in to do my next monitoring session, so I will get out of bed, hobble to the bathroom, and wash my face so she can't tell I've been crying, and when she comes in, I will be my funny, happy, self-deprecating self, and I will fake it one more time.
Day 41 - 4.11.08
Just cuz we're celebrating Week 29 today (woooo hooooooo!!!!) I thought I'd post this e-mail that I got from my friend Kori because it's so darn funny. Keep sending good thoughts that the babies stay in and cooking for another few weeks!!!
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
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