Just Call Me Merle Haggard

So I was at the grocery store on Saturday. Very casual, jeans and a tee, but in MY humble opinion I thought I looked cute. I had even curled my hair. I walked up to pay, and got in line behind a guy I used to work with (at two different engineering firms, in fact). Said "Hey Tom - how are you?" and we started chatting. He saw the baby food in my cart, and being an enginerd with super human powers of deduction, said "Oh, you must have a baby now," and I said "I actually have triplets." His response, and I quote, "Oh, that must be why you look so haggard." Uhhhhhh, riiiiiight. Of course there were people in line behind me to hear this quote. I was half waiting for him to say "JUST KIDDING!" but he didn't, so I finally said "Thanks a LOT!" then punched him in the stomach, left my cart there, and walked out.

Okay, so I did NOT do any of what I just wrote after Thanks a LOT, but it would've made a better ending. Instead, I embarrassedly (yes, I just made that up) finished paying, avoided any reflective surfaces in the store, and scurried to the van before any poor unfortunate souls had to lay eyes upon me.

Of course, I felt like a schmuck, until I remembered that THIS is the guy who, at the first company where we worked together, used to sit in his royal blue upholstered rolling chair eating Cheetos all day, and wiping his fingers on his chair, so that when he got up there was a greasy orange ring around where his ass had been in said chair. I mean, not the most socially adept Crayon in the box, if you ask me. Still, who SAYS that to someone they haven't seen in years, in all seriousness?

Rest assured, though, from now on I will not go grocery shopping without full makeup, a professional blow-out, and head to toe Prada.